Birth Announcement (this is 5 years old!!!)

I had some requests at the DFAC last night for this one to get posted. I guess it was a memorable birth announcement since folks are still talking about it 5 years later. Enjoy!

KEIBLER AVIATION INTRODUCES NEWEST MODEL

CINCINNATI,  OH.  The hangar doors opened to a sunny day in southern Ohio at the Keibler Aviation LTD manufacturing plant, at precisely 5:53AM on 19 July 2006. The operation, based in Cincinnati for 2 years after the successful merger with Brooks Consolidated has rolled their first model off the assembly line and it promises to be a sign of good things to come for this company.

“After our successful merger with Brooks Consolidated back in ’04 and the subsequent acquisition of HANNAH we decided that our engineers should pool their resources to develop a new line to bring KeibAv into the 21st century.” Spokesperson and CEO Casey Keibler said to the gathering crowd of onlookers eager to catch a glimpse of the craft.  “We hit the drawing board immediately after the merger and although we weren’t sure what would result, we’re certain CARRIE is going to be a success.”

“Once we had a design, it just seemed to continue to grow and develop with each passing day,” Chief Operations/Acquisitions Officer Shannon Keibler said to the crowd after her partner yielded the podium to her.  “While we didn’t expect to produce something this quickly after the merger, it was wonderful to be a part of such a development, and I’m already pushing Casey to authorize the development of our next line. I don’t want CARRIE out there flying solo for too long.

“She is a bit smaller than we had expected her to be,” Ms. Keibler continued.  “She weighs just over 7 pounds and stands just under 20 inches.”

Wired throughout CARRIE’s entire system is the High Octave Warning/Low Energy Reporting, or HOWLER, technology, designed to alert ground personnel that CARRIE requires maintenance, to include the regular changing of her newest filtration package known as the Poop And Mostly Pee Early Recovery  System. PAMPERS are placed to the extreme aft of CARRIE’s fuselage and, while expected to be a messy job at first, the changing of PAMPERS should get easier as the system develops and more solid fuels are used to propel CARRIE.

The HOWLER system is also wired to the Single Point Refueling receptacle at the extreme forward portion of CARRIE’s fuselage and alerts maintenance personnel to any low-fuel conditions.  The warning system shuts down momentarily after purging the tanks of any excess air that has entered the system, otherwise known as burping.  Once burped, the HOWLER system is designed to go into its Noise Abatement Program for two hours.  These NAPs will allow maintenance personnel the opportunity to attend to other needs, such as cleaning up the hangar and preparing for the next fueling.

“In these early stages of development, we expect our engineers and maintenance folks to be working around the clock, tirelessly,” Mr. Keibler said.  “As CARRIE grows in size and scope, we will know more about her needs and hopefully the HOWLER system will be activated with less frequency.

The Keiblers expect taxi trials to begin within a few short months, and although CARRIE won’t be cleared for solo flight for several years, they are certain she’ll be an excellent addition to the world of aviation.

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One Response to Birth Announcement (this is 5 years old!!!)

  1. Kelly says:

    That is too funny! Thanks for the link, Casey…again, stay safe out there KTW

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