Aviano AB, Italy: Hollywood gave us Brangelina and TomKat; Washington DC gave us Billary; now the AF has JDam, the bromantic coupling of Jeff Shabel and Adam Schuffer.
The newest, post-DADT brolationship between ambiguously heterosexual life mates Jeff Shabel and Adam Schuffer has taken the forward deployed world by storm as they’ve officially come out of the bunker, so to speak.
By all counts, JDam’s would appear indicative of a new style of desert romance blossoming across the AOR, one borne of pure animalistic desire, nurtured on testosterone and weaned on protein supplements. Bromances are flourishing on, off and in the skies above the field of battle where men of all ages constantly seek the admiration and acceptance of their peers as they prosecute the global war on terror.
As soldiers, Marines, seamen and airmen alike grapple with the challenges of a fully integrated military, one that breaches the final barriers of sexual preference and orientation, many members like JDam, are embracing their true feelings, and aren’t ashamed to admit they are deeply involved in a committed bromance.
“Back in Rescue, we were all bromantically involved, before it was cool and accepted by the mainstream AF,” says squadron-mate, and self-proclaimed hopeless bromantic, Rory K. “We just sorta did our own thing, like, nobody is gonna tell Rescue how to act!”
JDam attributes hard work, and dedication to their bodies to the successful two month deployed brolationship. Each had a goal to spend 25 hours each week in the gym together, lifting weights, running the treadmill and wrestling around on the mats after they worked up a good lather in the cardio room.
“I’d never really worked cardio before spending all that time with Jeff,” says Adam. “He really pushed me to improve, and he never had a workout…”
“…like the kind Adam gave me on that mat and with the gloves on punching the bag,” said Jeff, finishing Adam’s sentence for him.
“And what about that Fireman’s workout, with the tires and the…” asked Adam before Jeff cut him off.
“And the firehose, I know right? My grip is so strong now after that workout. And I got forearms like Popeye! That one hurt so good,” Jeff finished.
“JDam just seems to have such synchronicity, the kind like I see in my grandparents who’ve been married for 50 some years,” says Stinky Pete, another squadron mate. “It’s amazing to watch them in action, everywhere they go. Jeff knows just what Adam wants at the DFAC and brings it to him while Adam saves a seat for Jeff, off in the corner by the TV on UFC fight night. Are you going to eat the rest of that sandwich, man?”
Oftentimes the desert bromance is short lived upon return to life at home. Those who may have been unfaithful to their partners while deployed will return home as if nothing ever happened; others will try hard to keep the spark alive, even over long distances and at great expense.
When asked what the future holds upon their return, JDam looked at one another, and in unison said, “Drew who?” before tittering hysterically and skipping off to the bathroom.
Presumably, they were referring to Mr. Shabel’s former workout partner, Drew Galancer, who was unavailable for comment at the time, as he was on the phone with Government Liquidators trying to buy several tires and a fire hose.